Sometimes nothing terrible has happened. You simply notice that your days have become smaller than the life you want. Other times change arrives without asking: a death, a divorce, a health issue, a move, or a shift in money. Either way, you find yourself asking, Is this how I want to keep living?
That question can be uncomfortable. You may have worked hard to build the life you have. You can appreciate it and still admit that parts of it no longer fit. A home can hold beautiful memories and ask too much of you now. A career can have served you well and need a different shape. A routine can have once felt safe and now feel lonely.
I began thinking about these questions while writing Downsizing with Intention. I thought I was writing about homes and belongings. I was also writing about the choices that become possible when we look honestly at how we live.
After Brad died, those questions became personal in a way I had never expected. I had to name what had changed, picture a future I had not planned, honor what we built, and shape a life I could actually live. I am still doing that work.
You do not have to know exactly what comes next before you start. You can begin by asking: What is working? What is taking more than it gives? What do I want more room for? Whose voice am I hearing when I say I “should” keep things as they are?
Making room can mean moving. It can mean staying and changing how you use your home. It can mean a new friendship, a boundary, a creative project, or an evening with people around your table.
The question is yours to answer. You are allowed to build a life that fits the person you are becoming.
Chrysti Tovani is a Fair Oaks real estate advisor, life-transition specialist, and the author of Downsizing with Intention. Her work is built around one idea: making room for what comes next. Through The Making Room Framework™, she helps people sell long-held homes, downsize with clarity, and move through major life changes with confidence, care, and a real plan.
With decades of experience across real estate, mortgage, and title, Chrysti brings deep industry knowledge and thoughtful preparation to every move. She is a Seniors Real Estate Specialist® (SRES) and a Certified Probate and Trust Real Estate Specialist, and her approach blends strategic marketing, skilled negotiation, and emotional intelligence so each transition is handled with both precision and heart.
Chrysti is also the founder of I Love Fair Oaks, a hyperlocal media platform celebrating trusted businesses and community life in Fair Oaks, California, a beloved Sacramento County community known for its historic village, the American River Parkway, and a small-town feel that keeps people here for decades. She has called it home for more than 35 years. Chrysti is a licensed REALTOR® with eXp Realty of California, DRE #01118449.
