People say, “Just get rid of what you don’t use.” Then you open a drawer and find a recipe in your mother’s handwriting. Suddenly you aren’t sorting paper. You’re standing in her kitchen again.
This is why downsizing can be so exhausting. A house holds objects, but it also holds roles: the parent who hosted every holiday, the couple who built a life there, the person you were when you first moved in. Letting go of an item can feel like being asked to let go of the story attached to it.
You are allowed to slow down. Start with something ordinary, like expired supplies or duplicates. Give yourself practice making easy decisions before asking yourself to decide about family photographs or the dining table where everyone gathered.
When you reach the meaningful things, ask a different question from “Do I keep it or toss it?” Ask, “What do I want to remember, and what is the best way to carry that memory?” You might keep one piece from a collection, photograph an item and write down its story, offer it to someone who would love it, or keep it exactly as it is. Some things deserve a place in your next home.
Be careful about letting other people’s preferences make every decision for you. Family members may want you to keep everything, or nothing. You will be the one living with the result.
I wrote Downsizing with Intention because I believe the goal is to build a home that fits the life you have now. You can honor the life you have lived while making space for the one still ahead.
Chrysti Tovani is a Fair Oaks real estate advisor, life-transition specialist, and the author of Downsizing with Intention. Her work is built around one idea: making room for what comes next. Through The Making Room Framework™, she helps people sell long-held homes, downsize with clarity, and move through major life changes with confidence, care, and a real plan.
With decades of experience across real estate, mortgage, and title, Chrysti brings deep industry knowledge and thoughtful preparation to every move. She is a Seniors Real Estate Specialist® (SRES) and a Certified Probate and Trust Real Estate Specialist, and her approach blends strategic marketing, skilled negotiation, and emotional intelligence so each transition is handled with both precision and heart.
Chrysti is also the founder of I Love Fair Oaks, a hyperlocal media platform celebrating trusted businesses and community life in Fair Oaks, California, a beloved Sacramento County community known for its historic village, the American River Parkway, and a small-town feel that keeps people here for decades. She has called it home for more than 35 years. Chrysti is a licensed REALTOR® with eXp Realty of California, DRE #01118449.
